….And The LadyBird Massacre..
23rd June 2016
I missed the morning invasion, mum told me about it over pancakes at breakfast.
Last night we had shown Trevor and TC how to get rid of the sundowner wasps which generally descend on all bays for a couple of hours in the evening until the sun goes down. If you fill a bowl or two with water then float the bottom cut off of a beer can in the water in the bowl, you can fill the tin vessel up with Turkish Coffee, set fire to it so it smoulders and smokes and then wave goodbye to the majority of the pesky wasps which generally nose around the dinner table.
We don’t normally bank on them appearing at sunrise aswell! It would seem that this is what happened at twenty to six this morning! Mum woke up with about five or six wasps tickling (!) her face and poked Geoff in the ribs to alert him to the emergency…. Holding up a sheet as a shield she managed to guide them back out of the open hatches(1) long enough for Geoff to draw across the mosquito gauze(2). Crisis averted they dozed back off, but mum was watching them on the outside of the netting, why were they so desperate to get inside? Before too long, one invaded! It craftily found its way in through a pleat in the netting and was soon followed by another clever blighter. Springing into action again, mum armed Geoff with the aerosol spray and shepherded both pesky wasps with a towel, this time into the heads(3) and slammed the door.
Counting down from 3 to 1 mum opened the door and Geoff stomach rolled across the bed, armed with his trusty fly killer aerosol and looking a bit like James Bond after an all you can eat Chinese buffet, I’m told, spraying the aerosol as if it were a Colt 45! Crisis very narrowly averted it seems…….Geoff is the ultimate 0099 hero and a half with his trusty sidekick, the Wasp Juggler, what a fine pair of caped crusaders!
Turns out that Trev was thinking about coming across this morning for “Waspeze” ( which happened to be amongst the goodies he had delivered to us from the UK,) because he had decided to sleep outside in his hammock last night, felt something wake him up by tickling his lip this morning, and as he brushed ( what was a wasp) away, it stung him!
The adults were laughing and talking about some “Lesley Ash” woman and her trout pout…. But I don’t know who that is. It’s enough to say that even six hours later Trevor was talking with an hilarious lisp! I know, it’s not funny!
The bloke on the boat between ours and ” Mahi Mahi” was French, he was out fishing at about six am ( with the wasps, hah!) but we were all in awe as he continued to pull fish after fish out of his patch of water, seemingly without any effort. The fish were getting progressively bigger and bigger, and each time he caught one all his crew would cheer madly…. That wasn’t funny either.
Well, that got me to fishing, Geoff had gone over to see Frenchy and asked him
“what bait he was using” Frenchy didn’t seem to understand, so Geoff shouted the same sentence a bit slower and louder, to which the Frenchys crew man dragged the biggest bream out of their bucket and smilingly waved it in Geoffs face! It didn’t matter though, because by that time I had already spotted big hunks of cooked meat suspended on Frenchys hook……. So, I went back to fish!
I didn’t catch anything and got bored, so mum and I went off paddle boarding, snorkelling, swimming with the dogs…….taunted by cheers, this time from the Frenchys to the left and the two Turkish guys on our right too, as they hooked whales and sharks into their buckets! Bah! I need a plan!
It was whilst we were paddle boarding that mum and I noticed a really strange thing, which without the help of the Internet we can’t really understand. Floating on the surface of the ocean were too many dead and dying ladybirds. Mother became almost traumatised in our efforts to rescue the ones where where we could see their tiny legs still moving as they landed in the water! We were getting a collection of living ones onto our boards then taking them to the beach to deposit on reeds and branches, we couldn’t get back to the boat because we kept fishing out living ladybirds, or they kept on landing on our boards…….. It was very odd, and they are very stupid!
I must google what it was all about! I’ve never seen anything quite like it!
Twenty past six tonight the wasps came down. ( note to self: Enter this into log(4) ) Geoff and I went out in the dinghy trawling a line…..we were going to catch Tuna!
We go out believing this because This happened……. Once……..and since then we perform the evening rigmarole of driving aimlessly around the shadowy edges of whichever bay we are in, in the vain hope of achieving another twelve steaks! We have added more ” stuff ” since the glory day.
We have a bigger bucket, more hooks and lures on the line, and tonight Geoff went out with a divers knife strapped to his calf… This 007/0099 thing is really going to Geoffs head, except this evening he left looking more like Ursula Andress than 00 anything!
1. Hatches-These are Windows on a boat.
2. Mosquito gauze-When the hatches are open, a small mosquito net can be pulled across it.
3. Heads-Toilets on board a boat.
4. Log- A book that tells you about your passage.